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Are you Comfortable Doing Things you’re Not Good at?

carved wood rose
Try carving a rose out of wood. When it doesn’t go the way you hoped, is it stressful?

Not Being Good at Something Can Be Stressful

Where is that stress coming from?

The carving itself is not stressful. It’s purely mechanical. The stress comes from what I’m thinking. The thought, “I should be good at this,” makes it stressful.

Whenever I’ve questioned this thought, it has opened me up again.

For Example, I Used to be Stressed about Business

Starting in 2002, I wanted to be good at running a business i.e., able to make a living. But I had zero experience in business. I didn’t study it in school, I didn’t have any mentors or role models. I didn’t know the first thing about it. I even had an aversion to money.

But over the years I’ve stumbled around in business, and I’ve questioned my stressful thoughts as I went. The result is that I stopped expecting myself to be great at it. That’s when things opened up. That’s when it became fun. I was open enough to learn, and humble enough to simply serve.

When I stopped thinking I should be good at business, I got better at it, but more importantly, I stopped worrying about it. I started feeling free even as I continued (and continue to this day) to stumble around.

Managing Groups of People Is Another Weak Point

I’m basically a loner.

While I like people, I tend to stay to myself. And when dealing with people, I do best one-on-one. When I get in a group, I become much more insecure and likely to make blunders. I hate getting caught between two opposing factions.

But guess what my job gives me? A group. I call it Inquiry Circle. It’s an online group of people who get together every day to do The Work.

Am I good at managing the group? In some ways, yes. It is very orderly. But I also get my weak spots exposed continuously. I show up as harsh sometimes. I show up as manipulative sometimes. I am certainly not a perfect “leader” of the group.

But what I love about this group of open minded people is that none of us is expecting each other to be perfect. We are just here to do The Work. So, in the name of truth and freedom, I admit my mistakes, I question my related thoughts, and I make amends.

It’s Actually Exciting

I’m not good at what I’m not good at, but I’m not pretending that I am. That’s where the freedom is for me.

I’m not pretending to be an enlightened guru that doesn’t make mistakes. I’m just another first grader open to helping other first graders with their homework. That is freedom!

Thank you to The Work for allowing me to be free without having to be perfect. It gives me the courage to dive into anything whether I’m good at it or not.

Have a great weekend,
Todd

“The job you do out there in the apparent world is secondary. It’s only a place for you to judge, inquire, and know yourself.” Byron Katie, Question Your Thinking, Change the World

Todd Smith has been doing The Work of Byron Katie on an almost daily basis since 2007. He is just as excited about this simple process of self-inquiry today as he was when he first came across it. He also enjoys writing about The Work, and training others in the subtleties of this meditative process. Join Todd for The Work 101 online course, private sessions, virtual retreats, and his ongoing Inquiry Circle group.